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micthemicrophone:

horror-and-the-macabre:

that smug ass look though.

"Still touchin’ it."

duloxetine:

 

blackbarmitzvahs:

Can you imagine the conversation though?

Queen: I’m going

Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…

Queen: I’m going I want cake 

Chief of Staff:

Queen: 

Chief of Staff: 

Queen: I want cake

ifwefallonemoretime:

theorginalmiddlechild:

helenas-hood:

Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”

Soda just spewed out my nose

THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST

anotherpunk:

"Your dress is too short."

Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.

realistic-talking-fishhead:

cavityqueen:

my friend works in the grooming department at PetSmart and they just bought a bunch of puppy safe hair chaLK I AM DEAD

BABYYY

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

thegreensanitarium:

riverdogproductions:

newworldorganization:

drifterscave:

doitsundere:

anal0g2:

asvpyeezy:

kanye sleeping.

shhhh

Kanye Rest

in his Kanye Nest

when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best

This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.

did you just

this sounds like the intro theme song to a children’s show about kanye west going on adventures and respecting the sanctity of nap time